You Can't Take the Midwest Outta the Girl

Back in the Saddle

2008-11-11T06:34:00.000-08:00

Today was the first day in 4-6 months I biked. Not a lolly-gagging spin on the trainer for 15 minutes, but an actual get dressed in the bike clothes, shoes, beanie and gloves and head out to Hains Point for a few loops. I tried to do this on Sunday but was thwarted because of a road race going on at the point of HP and through West Potomac park. So I rode there for about 4 minutes trying to figure out what to do then decided to just go home. At least I tried. Today I went out determined to do 5 loops at HP but when I got there and realized I was underdressed for the wind I figured 3 loops would do just fine. I had my iPod on to keep me midly entertained and I was the only biker out there which was nice so no one could see me dying. It wasn't bad at all and I forced myself to take it easy and just spin my legs, while the thoughts were spinning in my head of taking the last 2 years off from triathlon and when I might do another IronMan race. It was a low key ride which was exactly what I was aiming for as well as possibly finding the spark to get me back on the bike more often.

Fitting - Queen: Bicycle Race

New Beginnings

2008-11-10T04:17:00.001-08:00

Some people wait until Janurary 1 to start over. Stop smoking, finally start a diet and exercising, change something in their life they don't like. I am a bit inpatient and couldn't wait until Jan 1. After 6+ years with the big M hotel I left the company to work for an association in DC as a conference coordinator. This is exactly what i have been wanting to do for years and I am so thrilled to start working for this association and with my coworkers and just to start over. Sure there are a few things that has anxiety running through my veins, like how am I going to adjust to the pay cut, will I avoid injury until Dec 1 when my insurance starts up, what time do I show up for work today. But that certainly outweighs the anxiety I felt with my other job; will I make goal, how many clients will yell at me today, when am I ever going to get out of this job. Thankfully I don't have to ask myself that last question any more. I am excited about this new job opportunity, the new schedule, new commute and finding a renewed sense of 'me' - self-assure, confident and *gasp*....happy.

This always makes me smile: 'Ripe'; Ben Lee

Winning a Lottery of Sorts

2008-01-23T19:41:00.001-08:00

Today I found out I won a lottery selection of sorts. They announced the 300+ runners for the 2008 Bull Run Run 50 mile trail run. This will be my first run of this distance and needless to say I am filled with mixed emotions. I am a bit bummed that I decided to take myself out of running 40 miles at Uwharrie next weekend, but after a winter of lackluster training and a recent bout with tendinitis in my left foot I figured it was the best thing to do. I have other, more important races to do this year and there is no sense in making things worse for my body now.

Besides, getting an entry spot into BRR I think is the kick in the pants I need. I read a lot of runner/triathlete blogs daily and they go on and on about feeling fat for eating a candy bar, or slow after a 4000yd AM swim or sluggish after a 90min easy run. How about this---I've probably done the same amount of training From May-Dec 2007 that I completed in 1-2months during Ironman training in all 3 years I have done an IM. How's THAT for fat/lazy/sluggish. But I am making a commitment to my training to do this run in April and do it well. With a candy bar here or there for a little motivation.

Because it's on now and I love it - U2: City of Blinding Lights

Birthday Musings

2008-01-14T20:19:00.000-08:00

Today was my birthday. Well, it still is for about 20 more minutes. It was a nice day but nothing real memorable, but really what is so great about turning 31? My 30th was privately traumatic for me so Jen and I celebrated with a gathering at our place for wine, beer and snacks then moved on to a bar crawl on Cap Hill where we proceeded to get wasted. There is always something to remember --or not-- about a bash like that, but this year we kept things low key. Jen had some friends in from Michigan so I went out with them on Saturday night. I took the day off work today (paid holiday---woo hoo!) and planned the day around a 4 page list of things to do. People asked if I had a fun b-day or will go on a trip. No. I ran errands today. I did get a massage and it was freakin' fantastic. A good massage is when they can rub the dickens --knots included--- outta your shoulders/neck/resst of the bod and still fall asleep. I did that. I can't wait to schedule my next one. I did get a few things crossed off my list including 3 important things ----12pm massage, yoga in the morning and have a good breakfast. That's a great morning.

The tradition with my mom is to call us at the time we were born to wish us a happy b-day at that time. Jen is 3:12pm and after that she calls me to say "haha I'm older than you". That lasts for 23 minutes and at 3:35pm I cathch up to her. Mom looks forward to doing this each year. Sister Jill usually calls at night to sing her Marilyn Monroe version but not so this year. I ended up calling her and Newphew Brody sang to me. At first he didn't wanted to, but after some fake crying he happily obliged. When he finished he went back to playing but I could hear him say in the background "she's happy now!". Definitely made my day.

Birthday dinner came delivered from Jen---a pint of Ben & Jerry's cookie dough ice cream. So after all my cooking (another thing to cross off the list) I had ice cream for dinner. Perfect high-cal dinner to end a low-key day.

You don't say?: They say it's your birthday

Happy New Year: Traditions

2008-01-01T21:07:00.000-08:00

Happy 2008! New Years Eve is one of my favorite days because I love to get all dressed up, go out and party and drink and have a great time. Then on Jan 1 I usually spend the day hung over all day, laying on the sofa watching a marathon of 'Biggest Loser' on Bravo channel crying at the end of each episode. Well I wasn't going to let this year end that tradition. I did go to a party at a friend's house, got all gussied up and spent the rest of the night drinking and having a great time. NY day was as mentioned before - hung over all day laying on the sofa. The champagne - even just a little bit - gets me every time. TBL did have a marathon on Bravo but I didn't watch it because it was from a few seasons ago, so I've wept over those episodes already. I watched some hockey and a movie, had an appetite finally around 3pm for something greasy to soak up the alcohol in my belly and settled with pizza.

I don't make resolutions because I don't think you need to wait until Jan 1 to set a goal for yourself for the entire year when you have each day, hour, or tomorrow to do that. Besides, I read somewhere that it takes 21 days to quit something or better yet start a good habit. I do plan on changing somethings - better work/home life balance, cooking new meals, firm up my finances to name a few but I don't want to call them 'resolutions'. Just a few things to make for a better me in 2008.

Happy New Year: Regina Spektor - My Dear Acquaintance (A Happy New Year)

A Good Dose of 'Home'

2007-12-30T21:37:00.001-08:00

I returned from Michigan this evening and I already miss being there. I arrived on Saturday 12/22 and flew in this evening to DC and my time there flew by. Cousins from Chicago came in for a few days so we spent time eating, swimming, sledding and had 2 sleep overs at our house (cousis are 10, 8 and 6 yrs old). We had snow there and it was so beautiful! About 4" on the ground when I got there and we got about 5 more inches on Friday night. I have pictures to post as well to show how a city can manage with snow without freaking out.

The best part about being home was of course spending time with my 2.5yr old nephew, Brody.
This video shows just how much fun we had with just an empty laundry basket, absent brother-in-law (he would have freaked out I'm sure) and a happy aunt.
Key things here: the words 'faster', 'ok, slow down', watch his eyes as the room slows down, and 'do again!'

We also listened to 'Pootie Pootie' on my iPod over and over and danced. It's the song 'Ms. New Booty' by Bubba Sparxxx but he LOVES it. I taught him some new dance moves including one where he had to fold his hands 'like you're praying in church' and could only imagine him on Sunday doing that at church (he didn't....yet). We threw a nerf ball at each other, I chased him around the house, and danced some more. I had sent a christmas card to them and decided to sent a separate one with a rocking horse on it just to him. When we were looking for the nerf ball I saw my card taped on his bedroom door and stopped my nerf hunting to asking 'Brody...who gave you this card?'

'You did Aunt Emmy! Thank you Aunt Emmy'.

Oh..he just melts my heart. Then I found the nerf ball, whipped it at him again and we ran around the house some more. And this was all within the first few hours of me arriving in Michigan. You can only imagine how the rest of my stay was? Especially when it started with heart melting moments like this and fun ways to entertain with a laundry basket and an Aunt Emmy who loves her nephew.

the Nephew's favorite song - Bubba Sparxxx: Ms. New Booty

Like Going to Hell

2007-12-19T20:34:00.000-08:00

I returned to CarMax on Wednesday to finalize the payment on my car. Yes! It's mine! Well, now I have a loan with my credit union to deal with but that's fine. I have a few more details to finalize with the paperwork and I will have everything rolling to make this car mine. I figured while I was there I may as well ask them about the rest of the paperwork they need from me before Thursday to make sure I was on track with getting them everything they need. Copy of insurance - check; copy of DC inspection certificate (completed Tuesday bright and early) - check; copy of my loan - check; copy of my DC drivers license - check.
Pause.
Huh?
My licence was copied and scanned and reviewed all day Saturday - I swear - because I remember seeing my awful photo on the 19" computer monitor longer than necessary. Wrong address. I moved in August and haven't had the address changed on my license. It's up for renewal in January anyway so what was the big deal?

The business associate I was working with I think hid for a second or 30 longer because he feared my reaction. The paperwork couldn't be finalized until I had a current drivers license. But it is! It's still good for 45 more days! Not so. The address has to match my new place of residence which means........I have to go do the DMV to renew it.

Sigh

I dropped my head, shook it a bit, thought I said 'shit' under my breath but it was really said aloud and I'm sure the business associate heard me. 'I hate the DMV'.
'I know' he said, 'that's why I said I didn't have good news for you. I'm sorry.'

Why wasn't I told this on Saturday?? My current license was there for everyone to see while I was buying the car on Saturday and my new address was on the 37 pages of legal forms I had to sign. Why wasn't 1 + 37 put together to realizing these addresses didn't match up?

Shit

I hate the DMV. The only advice I'm getting is to bring a book and prepare to wait. Ugh. I've been there before and know what it's like ---hell. I have to find all proofs of ID that I live at the new address but no matter how much I prepare, no matter how many forms of ID, credit card bills, phone bills, SS#, any and all junk mail magazines or whatever--DMV will find a way to screw me and say I forgot something.
People of DC! Stay away from the DMV on C Street. Do not go there first thing in the morning and get in my way. I have to get this taken care of ASAP so I avoid another trip home to search for another form of ID, and I need drive to work so I can fax all my info to claim the car - loan and all - all mine.

God help me: Cake: I Will Survive

The Way Car Buying Should Be

2007-12-16T15:25:00.000-08:00

Saturday I did some Christmas shopping for myself. In the same time I think I got an ulcer or two but it was worth it for this:

This isn't the exact one I bought but very close. 2003 Pontiac Vibe. 68k miles, 2WD, 4door sedan, automatic, trunk rack and a roof rack. I have been researching cars online at CarMax for a few months now after a coworker lent me her car for a week. I was in training for a week questioning how I would get to/and from the class and she was out of the country. That week of freedom was....was like no other. Morning commute was 35 minutes instead of 75. In the evenings I left on my schedule instead of Metro's schedule. The first day without the car was painful and my sister knew. When I walked in the door the first night without the car the first thing when I walked in the door was let out a big sigh and say "I miss having a car". I have been sans motor vehicle since February 2003 and thought I could keep going strong for a few more years until all bills were paid and money was saved. Well the bills all didn't get paid and I don't have much money saved - for a car or a rainy day - but I was tired of coming home after work sighing about the commute.

I rented a FlexCar from 10:30am - 5pm knowing it could take me that long to make the drive to Dulles should I go through and drove to CarMax in Dulles on Saturday. My first mistake that morning was I didn't eat breakfast. I brought along my checkbook, a bottle of water and a baggie with pistachios, almonds and peanuts. My second mistake was I didn't bring enough food to last me for the entire day. I looked first at the Vibe and test drove that and tried the Honda Civic second. I walked in pretty much knowing I would go with the Vibe because of the lower price and the sunroof. Also I think my bikes would look better mounted on the Vibe instead of the Civic. I wanted to talk about final cost and financing so we took the car off the lot. My stomach did somersaults when the salesman put the 'Sold' sticker on the dashboard. What the hell did I just do?

Besides signing my life away on about a dozen forms everything else is a blur. I had to have some work done on the car so I went out for some lunch and to get away and shake the butterflies out of my stomach. Jen metroed to Vienna and I picked her up so she could drive the FlexCar home while I drove my new car home. She was with me when we did the inspection and agreed with me - the bikes were going to look nice on the Vibe.

I finally drove out of there around 5:30 pm broke, still hungry and full of a bundle of nerves.

Cuz it's cool: INXS: What You Need

Comfy Sofa

2007-12-10T19:36:00.000-08:00

I can sleep practically anywhere at anytime if I'm tired. On the METRO? Done. On my sofa and/or love seat? Heck yeah. There are times when I will bring my pillow and a blanket from my room, curl up in front of the TV fully intending on falling asleep there while the DVD repeats the intro page of the movie. This past weekend weekend was just one of those weekends. On Friday I was watching some shows I had DVRed the past few weeks and could barely keep my eyes open past 9pm. I got a ride home from work up in Gaithersburg so I missed my usual 30min evening nap on the METRO and I was really feeling it on Friday. I somewhat remember a conversation with my sister knowing as soon as the words came out of my mouth it wasn't the answer to her question. Next thing I knew it was 4:30am, TV infomercials were in full force and I was curled up on my side on the sofa. I eventually dragged myself up to bed but those first 7hrs were bliss. In the morning Jen repeated some of the strange things I said (I do talk in my sleep) including something like 'I just love riding on the METRO'. See....that's what happens when I miss my commuting nap!
Saturday night wasn't much different. I had a good DVD, a full bottle of white wine, my comfy clothes, blankets and the sofa to myself. Sure enough around 11:20pm the lids were getting heavy and I was about to call it a night, then woke again around 3am to get back in my own bed.

Recently though I've been thinking of finding the comfort of another sofa---a therapist. I've thought of this since around early April then again these past few months. I changed jobs in March hoping I would be trading stress levels as well but that hasn't been the case 100%. The stress is still there but on a different level, and I think about work all the time gives me anxiety. It's not just about work either --I haven't been happy with myself for quiet some time either especially this year. Yes I did decide to take this year off from triathlons but I thought 2007 would be the year of the ultra trail runs for me. Well it was a little bit the beginning of the year but the thrill is all gone. The excitement is gone and the lost muscle and extra weight is still there plus some.
I'm also closing my heart and keeping people out. A dear friend of mine moved this past weekend and came by to say goodbye. We sat on my sofa cuddling and I was crying----crying!---thinking about, and knowing, he's leaving. I can tell him I love him which I have done. I told him he means so much to me, but sitting there on my sofa together I could not respond when he asked me to tell him how I feel about him. I know it's there, I really do, but why can't I get it to come out of my mouth (more than 3 words) and not my tear ducts? I let the stress of work ball up inside of me on my METRO ride to work at 5:30am when I leave at the butt crack of dawn to get there early in attempts to catch up.
The thing is I'm never catching up. I'm either staying the same or falling backwards. Can a shrink really get me to turn and move forward? I wonder if the sofa would be as comfy as mine.

Just cuz it's on now and I like it: Light and Day/Reach for the Sun

Just for the Bell of It

2007-12-02T09:19:00.000-08:00

(Yeah puns!)

Sister Jen has been training for the Jingle Bell 5k run for Arthritis with her coworkers and casually asked me on Friday if I joined her. I didn't respond right away then she said "I'll pay for you" and I said what the heck. I haven't been running nearly as much as I have in the past since taking a bit of a hiatus this year. Nor have I been running as much as I should considering I have a 40mile trail run coming up on February 2nd. So what the heck! It's 3.1 miles, on a course I've run before during the Columbia Triathlon and I need something to get me out doing something different. Actually, I needed this to get me out doing something. I haven't done a 5k run - stand alone or part of a sprint triathlon - in probably 3-4 years. I hate 5k runs....I'm not fast, they hurt, and I'd rather take the pain from a 50k run then a 5k any day.

It was quite cold in the morning and I wasn't dressed warm enough especially since it was so windy. We met up with her coworkers before the race for a team picture and make plans of where to meet up with each other after the race. At this race I did something I have NEVER done at a race before ---wear my race shirt the day of the race. I'm always against that because I have certain training and race gear and it doesn't include a 100% cotton t-shirt. On Saturday, however, it was part of certain race gear.

Overall the race was fine and yes it did hurt as 5k races do. I hate running fast, I hate sprinting, I hate getting beat by 70yr olds, but I made sure to pass a few said 70yr olds early on in the race. It really was what I needed to get me out and get me bit by that competitive bug even just a tad. Training has officially begun whether I like it or not, however I see myself liking it again.

Finally.

Seriously, what were they thinking??: Beach Boys Christmas

Musings

2007-11-27T20:06:00.000-08:00

I went back to Michigan, my home state, about a month ago to get out of DC, let my bloodpressure get back to normal, and most importantly visit my family. I get home about 2-3 times a year which always includes Christmas, sometime in the summer or late summer and 1 other time somewhere in the middle to get my sanity back. I go there for vacation so I can sleep in, have my mom take care of me, read 3 months worth of People magazines, have breakfast with my nephew and, well, pretty much to do nothing. I try to make a date with my dad to go bowling and spend the night at our cottage but other than that it's just to get away from DC. Don't get me wrong--I love living here, but I also love going home to my family. My nephew is now 2.5 yrs old and THE best thing in the whole wide world, and Sister 1 is preggers again due in late January. I hate missing seeing Nephew grow up and all the cute things he does and how he sometimes terrorizes my sister. It's one thing to hear him say 'i love you' on the answering machine but to hear it in the morning when he wakes me up so he can have pancakes with Auntie Emmy....that's a heartbreaker.

That last time home I sat on the plane back to DC and thought if I would ever move back to Michigan and the answer is always a quick 'no'. Then a pause and the thought of 'well.....'. I can see myself going back because I want to be in my nephew's life but besides my family I don't know what else is there for me. I wonder what might be different if I hadn't moved East after I graduated. Would I still be doing marathons, ultra trail runs and triathlons? What job would I have and would like love or hate that? Would I have a house? Be married? Or would I constantly wonder what it would be like to get out of Michigan?

I have the 'I love you' messages saved on the answering machine, the long waits at Safeway to read the People magazines and there's always time to do nothing. And I can always go back. Just not right now.

Oh-oh you've just gotta hear this: Athlete: Hurricane